whack it.

i am officially going to be a contestent on 8tv's game show Whack it. its a game show about pretty sexy competing against pretty girls for the grand prize. Call me a hypocrite but I just realized that I am supporting a show that objectifies women as sex objects and beauty products. Im sorry but the only thing that was going through my head when i agreed was : fuck it la, its gonna be fun. why not?

so here I am, waiting to go for the Whack It shooting tomorrow.

I didnt mind when they paired me up with 2 strangers, but pitting me against my colleagues is a bit fucked up laaa ... But its ok, my aim was to go have fun humilaiting myself on tv anyways!

so yeah, when the show is out on tv, u can call and tell me how ridiculous i look hahahahah

Life doesn't always go your way....

like when you want your head hair to grow longer and your pit and leg hair to not grow but the hair on your head takes ages to gain an inch while the follicles in your legs and armpits seem to be over actively producing new stubs every 5 seconds.

life doesnt always go your way.

if its all worth it

i almost had a heart attack the other day when my laptop stopped working because my table played mine tricks on me. but all's fine now, Dell tech guy came and fix Wanda up, her RAM was messed up thats all. but now, Wanda has a battle scar on her shiny new face. im sorry Wanda, we'll get u a new bag real soon kay!

***

at the risk of sounding snooty, i work hard, really really really hard in school. I work so hard to a point where for the last 2 weeks, all i did was go to college, come home, do homework and go to work and sleep. I stayed home last 2 Fridays Saturdays and Sundays just to finish the shit loads of assignments. All i did, think and live was assignments. I didnt go out with my friends. damn effing no life ok. Its depressing. but its ok,'i tough it out coz i know i have to score coz if i dont my scholarship will be revoked and we have no money to send me to a good college and i will have no friends and i cant get a good job and i become lonely emo friendless girl living on pity alms from people on the sidewalk and i will go crazy and become the crazy lady with 72cats.

I work really hard. but 'my bosses' choose not to see that. Somehow they only seem to notice me when i go out with my friends, especially at night. or when I do my dance shows. and thats only once in a very long while since college's been a bitch lately. So, at the very off-chance that i do hang with my friend, or when i go to work and show, they start to complain about me going out too much till too late. They start questioning me if my homework is okay, if I have time to do my work, asking me to cut down on this and that or it will affect my studies and all that crap that just makes me wonder 'hello? have you not seen me being anti social for the past 2 weeks locking myself under homework arrest?'. Im 19, i need friends and a break from school. being. in. a. room. alone. for. too. long. will. make. me. kill. myself.

the worst part is when i really answer with something like "i finished this much of work today ok" mum will be like 'why you feeling guilty is it?", dad will go "yameh? so guai meh!". They meant it jokingly and they think its funny, but its not. My bro's the ultimate champion.

bro: so what did you get for your results?
me: A2s and A1s lo.
bro: what happened to the A2? why didnt get A1?

just imagine how i feel after that. after all that slaving. one word. fml.

don't get me wrong, mum dad bros do let me live my own life. they're awesome and supportive and all that but sometimes, at days like this, i just wonder if its all worth it. I see my friends only aiming to pass, they do less the work and have twice the fun that i do. I've beeen trying so hard to prove my worth to them since High School but all they say is a 'good job' and its back to me being a juvenile. They kinda don't trust me, thats one thing. I'll always be a kid. Im almost 20 and dad still think im 18. last year, i was 15.

I dunno.. sometimes i just feel like a fool for working so hard.

my room is green

sometimes, i love it how you don't feel tired at all, and in fact more alert, when you only got 2 hours of sleep the night before.

but why, when you've had like a nice, proper 7 hours of sleep you wake up feeling tired faster?

just realized i haven't had a nice, long, comfortable sleep and wake up with that happy cozy feeling in a very long time.

maybe cause my room is so stuffy and hot and dusty that i go to sleep sweaty and i wake up sweaty and sitting here right now is just making me sweat. so much so that my blankets are feeling neglected.

in fact, my whole house is a freaking oven. believe me, dont come here in the afternoon. panas giler babi ok.

why did my house have to be right smack in front of a main road la??? mum offered me an air-cond, coz we have an extra one sitting in the store room somewhere, but i said no. why? because air cond kills the environment omg what was i thinking i could have been rolling in sweet cold slumber right now

Good food

God knows everyone on earth loves good food. and yes, while the definition of delicious differs from palate to palate, all of us roughly have the same taste on whats yummy or plain, good or bad, heavenly or just plain disgusting.

If there's one thing I don't get, is how people judge yumminess not based on the taste of the food, but the brand of the shop. Give them a banana fritter bought from a shopping mall and a banana fritter bought from pasar malam and they'd say the store bought banana fritter tastes better. even if they taste the same. just because its bought from some fancy store.

I don't know bout you but I personally prefer my nasi lemak from the kakak that sells rm1.50 packets beside a road under the coconut tree and not from some lame-ass air conditioned commercialized franchise pretending to be an upscale coffee shop. Just because its overcharged more expensive, doesn't mean it tastes better. But that's just me.

I'm not saying all store bought food are bad, nor am I saying all road side food are better. (though i really do prefer my hawker stalls). All I'm saying is people, food tastes good because its cooked well, not because the brand is better! and that goes for clothes, shoes, and everything else too.

I'd take a Ramly burger over McDonald's any day.
Speaking of which, I haven't had in ages.

Time for a Ramly!

sorry, tree.

there this one palm tree-ish kinda plant by my front gate that refuse to grow. His twin is already as tall as me, but he stopped growing a couple years ago.

maybe i shouldnt have driven over him with my wira.

the colours; i miss them too

seeing them again was the most sweetest, warmiest feeling today :) i almost did not want to leave.

I thought my kids would have forgotten about me by now but boy was i wrong! my little impromptu surprise at the kindy made them so excited, i miss the sound of them calling me Teacher Mei.

the girls were giggly at my sight, and kept telling me how much they miss me...
they kept asking when am i coming back to teach them.
i did not know how to answer.

Gavin, the one brattiest-ADD-back talking-intelligent-adorablely-lovable-problematic boy then i've came to have a special bond with during my 3 month tenure shut down completely. For the first time ever, he sat there quietly and ate his noodles without a single sound. he wouldnt even look at me. I guess he just didnt know how to react after not seeing me for 2 months. He even hid his face away in his arms when i sat beside to talk to him. after minutes of coaxing, the cutest thing happen- he came to sit in my lap, quiet for a few seconds, and then suddenly started talking excitedly about their trip to the Vitagen factory. and then the jolly old Gavin that i knew so well returned- asking me all the questions under the sun.

oh how i miss them sitting in my lap.

and i was almost jealous not being there at the Vitagen factory with them.

my boss just texted me, saying Adriana cried when she told her mom at home about meeting me in school. the poor girl. i feel bad for leaving, really.

its nice to know that im missed and that i've played a part of their lives, even if it was the tiniest. Its nice to know that they appreciate me, cause teaching in a kindergarden is really tiring! and yes, i appreciate them too, cause they've played a big part in my life as well..

what can i say? 3 months in the kindy was seriously draining, low pay, irrelevant to my studies and my boss was kinda squeezing us dry, but the kids made it an wonderful experience :)


the memories,
they're heartwarming, thats what it is.