Wednesday, March 2, 2011

my life has been filled with so much joy and fun lately that it feels like a sin to post what im about to post.

but i have to,
because underneath the joy and smiles, some scars never heals.

when did news stopped coming in good?

overdramatic this might be,
because you only see the outside me,
but its not really,
its just reality.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

he quoted me in his speech

26th January 2011, Rose-Hill, Mauritius

Up to a week ago this “Lead Green” project seemed like a joke with a bad punch line. The 20 bright individuals from all 4 corners of the world who were eager and enthusiastic to learn about Mother Nature and to make a difference were utterly disappointed. The initial perception was that we learn about sustainability in Mauritius, work with the local NGOs, conduct awareness workshops and return to our home countries with enough knowledge and experience to make a difference. We were promised that we would make an impact but the 20 undergraduates who were waiting, wanting to make an impact were left laughing at a badly told joke.

To convince ourselves that we were making the least bit of difference, we used the word ‘sustainable’ at every floating litter and open fire. We lost every desire to work and shifted our motivation to sun-tanning, partying, and more sun-tanning.

All of a sudden, the faintest hint of work creeps in. “Go to secondary schools and create an awareness campaign on sustainability” they told us in the strongest French-Mauritian accent. A project close to my heart it became, fuelled by my cheesy love for Nature and all things green as I was left in charge of the presentation.

The moon went to sleep and it was campaign day. I stood in front of 50 odd pinafore-clad girls feeling like I swallowed a jar of butterflies. In a house of 18 other interns who seemed like they did not really care nor took this awareness workshop seriously, no one but me knew how important and serious this presentation meant to me. It was a campaign created less than 24 hours ago, I was not at all prepared. What do I say? What if they ask me super-intelligent question and I can’t answer? Whats, hows and ohmygods ran through my mind, until the projector was turned on and all eyes were on me. My mind was blank and I just started talking, and talking, and talking. They laughed at my joke, which was a good sign. They weren’t responsive to my questions, not too good. They look like they are listening to me, thank god.

20 minutes later and it was the last slide, a warm round of applause and I ended my presentation with a great big smile, satisfied that I had just given the best presentation that I have ever given in my life. When it was activity time, the shy, reserved girls before me burst out of their shells and literally started to sing and dance. Their enthusiasm infectious and energy vibrated into our veins. It was the best day I had in Mauritius, knowing that I was able to share my passion and teach the kids about wonderful Mother Nature felt amazing enough, never have it occurred to me that I could actually inspire others to make a difference until 3 days later when Elodie messaged me.

“hi mei! i'm Elodie from the Queen Elizabeth college.Just want to thank you all guys for the great time we had together! we already started taking actions at school level and we're planning a cleaning day on friday during recess! thanks a lot guys. you had a great impact on us!!!”

Who knew a sloppy slide show crafted in mere hours could have had such a great impact. A gush of warmth, fuzziness, rainbows and butterflies of a good kind rushed through me upon opening this sweet, beautiful, simple message. Me? I made an impact? I actually inspired and motivated people to make a difference? I made a difference? This concept was new to my blood, it made me feel like a million rupees. The mere 2 hours we spent with the girls was so inspiring and motivating that it made the prior 30 days of bumming around seemed okay. I inspired people, and they motivated me to do more.

Lead Green finally lived up to its name, although this presentation was merely a side project, it embodies the spirit and essence of our stay. Sometimes the most ambitious of plans is just a dressing while the simpler effort sends the strongest message. All it takes is one little change to make a whole lot of difference. Inspiration and motivation comes side by side, hand in hand. To inspire, you have to be motivated, and when you are motivated, you are inspired. This is what Elodie and friends taught me today, a little reminder to keep motivated to inspire others, to keep my dedication and not to ever lose my drive.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

"Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement."
Alfred Adler

4. get a tatoo by 21

Monday, December 20, 2010

en route

aiports are cold, lifeless, steel.

the people's life sedentary as they wait to embark on a journey away, or a journey back home.
mothers and fathers pushes through their tiredness as they watch their kids have fun in imaginary land,
businessmen waste not their precious time, happily sip beers by the bar, or work feverishly on their laptops,
the occasional lost lone traveller pushes by looking for Gate 15,
admiring the young students who catches beloved naps between transit.
and some,
some just seat and read,
some just seat and watch as time pass by,
all just sit and wait.

they think they are using precious time well,
but all do they are is just waiting, waiting.

airports are cold, lifeless, steels.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

they call it prep work

if there is one thing i hate more than filling out forms,
its packing.

my god i hate packing.

the last time i attempted life as an alien, mum and dad picked, folded, packed and wrapped everything up for me and sent me on my way like I'm a christmas present for a nasty 5 year old brat. All I did was picked what I wanted to wear. But then again, they were the ones that decided that I go, they were the ones that arranged the flight tickets and everything else that had to be arranged. Like I'm a superstar and they my manager. 18 year old me was so relunctant to go that I immersed myself in work and avoided all the packing I can.

This time around, I avoided all the packing I can again, or so mum noted. Everytime she said its time to pack, I had people to have drinks with or Vinyls to stick on my room wall. At least my room looks cool now!

Until the (mid)night before, I avoid till I cannot avoid no more, I had to pick, fold, pack and wrap everything up on my own, and they stand and watch. Heck dad didn't even peep at my bag. Like I've downgraded from superstar to the superstar's assistant with no self respect.

Serves me right for having an itchy butt and legs that cannot stay where they are eh? I arranged and payed for everything on my own. Who knew international arrangements requires so much work. heh. heh. At least dad was kind enough to sponsor me a (really good) camera :)

People keep asking me if im excited to be going, and all i can say is "no rasa". I picked the wrong time to go, but they say no matter which planes crashes and what boat capsized, life has to go on. So i went on with mine, though filled with guilt, and relunctancy that i did not forsee.

oh by the way, if you didnt know yet, im en route to Mauritius! :)

Friday, December 17, 2010

the rain has been pouring down, for what have seemed like the longest time ever.

this blog has been, like a friend said "refreshingly morbid",
oh well,
thats just how my life has been lately, refreshingly morbid.

the rain has been pouring for the longest time,
and it still continues to pour,
but i've eloped to much sunnier pastures,
for a sunny escape,
and now,

a new saga entails.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

i saw a little spark today, that gave me a faint glimmer of hope. one that i am holding on to tightly, so that it will not slip slide and fade away.......

sometimes good news comes in the most excruciatingly painful disguise. but i prevail, and will believe in it being a good news, and be hopeful, that only more good will come from it. the process might not, may not, will not be easy, but it will all end with good.
it has to. nothing less than that. it has to.

i really really need some good right now.