Sunday, October 21, 2007

T-minues 10,9,8,7,6...

the annoying clock hanging above me is ticking away
the old grandfather clock below is calling
still early
i feel time is slipping out of the palm of my hand
like a bar of soap,
as if my palms have been greased.
i cant hold on much longer,
time wont stop.
ohh how i wish earth would stop spinning.

counting down the days.
8 days
8 days left.
-Oct 31st 2007-
8 more days until i officially put a full stop to my career as a secondary school student.
hmm, "i USED to study at Kwang Hua," its going to sound weird,
"Ex-kwang hurian" guess i got to try to get used to it.
i dont know which is scarier :
1.Performance for graduation
2.actually PARTING 5 great years of secondary life and the whole bunch of gila friend
3.the looming SPM.. its buzzing around my head like a annoying fly.. BUZZ OFF!
4. stepping into a whole new unfamiliar teritory of life as an adult.. colleges,courses,money,results,life,love ARGH!!!
which is scarier? u decide
so many things to do n read n play of course..but sooooo little time.. but why am i still so free? something's wrong here... i just hope the freakin lazy bug inside of me would just die already.. BUZZ OFF will you!

22 days.
-Nov 12 2007-
-insert censored word here-
22 more days (yes i actually counted it, just for u !)
22 days till one of the most important exams and yet im here bloggging at 3.58 am
when u see all people around you studying like there is no tomorrow,and u are here blogging at 3.58am, you know something is wrong. there's actually nothing much to say about this shitty feeling, its kinda like a pinch of chilli, some bittergourd, a dash of confusion, one teacup of nausea, 1ml of denial, a little confusion according to your taste, chop a few anger and pek chekness, a pinch of salt ,nothingness, and the must have MSG, put all in a blender, mix it all together and BAM!!!!! u have what i call "butterflies in stomach" ala carte. yummy, no?

22 + 23 = 45
45 days
-Dec 4th 2007-
cant wait? or CANT WAIT? ahh... here comes the days of bye bye exams, hello freedom... will i be able to shout "MERDEKA!!!!!!!!!!!" ? hmm... who knows but my mum? is it really freedom as what they all say? what about money n colleges n life deciding decisions??? all the responsibilities soon to come... but then.. no more blue pinafore no more SEJERAH TINGKATAN 5 and no more crappy objective papers! no more studying till 5 in the morning!! woohoo!!! whatever it may be, sweet or pedas, all i can say is.. its our honeymoon time and its vacation time! cant wait!

huhuhu.. counting down the days....i feel like an Angkasawan. strapped firmly to the seat looking at the ceiling.waiting for lift off. will the blood rush to my brain when the spaceship blasts off turn out to be an exhilarating ride, or will it end it with me blowing my brains out when it crash and burn? hmm.. this must be how our dear angkasawan Dr.whatchamacalit must have felt. it seems like im still floating in space.... seems like 8 days is like 8 minutes but 22 days is like an eternity.. spm? really, who gives a damn? we're only studying it to please parents and the panel at the "scholarship board". arent we all?

this moment, life seems to be all "haiz" and 'haiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

and now, time for a conforting quote by mua~
"graduation is not the end, but the begining to a brand new start" -mei

tick tock tick tock
the annoying clock above me is still ticking away
*dreams of bashing it with ACME extra large hammer* *bash!bash!bash*
4.34 am
the cocks n hens at the back are calling! (ya i rare chickens)
oops! gotta go!

H n' G (hugs n kisses)
moo~ (today im a cow)

Saturday, October 13, 2007

my philosophy

my philosophy - okay, so I'm not a philosopher, but plain Jane's ( or chu's) are allowed to have beliefs and philosophies right? so, HEAR ME OUT!!!

I've always advised this to my juniors, and have shared it with some of my its your turn. This is how it goes(this is based on a true story) :

there's this very close friend of mine,I'll cal him C. He longs to be a singer, it is his dream, his aspiration, his cita-cita.The first time he told me about his little "secret" of becoming the next super-star, I was a little doubtful, it seemed unrealistic, and i actually advised him that its not really a good idea (i regret that). But later on, i started to see the passion in him. C started to enrolled for singing lessons, he started to sing in class all the time (n we enjoyed that), and he made great effort to improve himself. It was like seeing a SUPERSTAR in the making. One day, during assembly the school announced that there will be a State Level singing & dancing competition. this was C's big break, to gain invaluable experience, to have his first taste in as a singer and his first step to make it big. However, the only problem was C has very little confidence in him. He was indecisive whether to enter the competition and has actually decided not to as he felt that he was not up to it. But at last, after days and weeks of persuasion, and opening his eyes to all the endless possibilities, i managed to change his mind. Bravely, C hand in the application form, worked really hard, and yes! He entered the Finals!!! During the judgement day, hundreds of students shouted his name "C! C!!!!'', supporting their future idol. When C step out and bolted out his song perfectly, he felt a rush of satisfaction, a warm tingling sensation through his whole body. It felt so good, he felt so proud that it didn't matter that he won or not. He was just so glad that he has tried his best. His hard work paid off, C and his singing partner won the SECOND PRIZE for their outstanding performance! now, C is quite well-known in our school as a good singer and he as been invited to join a band ( in school) .From then on, he has been invited to sing at numerous school functions. The following day, C said that if he were ever to achieve his dreams someday, he will repay me^^hehe.. it felt so good to hear him thank me. He thanked me for convincing him to join the competition, he was glad the grabbed the chance, and he knows that he will not have many other chances like this. He grabbed the one and only chance, and it opened a lot of possibilities to him. Now he is one step closer to achieving his ambition.

what im trying to convey here is in life, we will be given many many MANY different opportunities and chances be it a competition, a chance to become a school representative, or a shot to become the (insert AJK post here) of a club.These chances are rare and come once in a blue moon, so why hesitate ? Grab the Chance, say YES (to chances that benefit u only, pls don say yes to drugs o smoke or gambling etc etc) and embrace life and everything that is given to you to the fullest. C could have let that chance fly away, and wasted all that wonderful experience and moments but he didnt. Instead he gave himself magical memories that will last a lifetime. So, when u are facing a decision to accept a chance or not, if possible, grab that opportunity. You may not be very good at it, and u may not achieve the results u wished for, but if u tried ur best u will be grateful that you have done it, you''ll gain experiences that no one can take away from u. There is no downside to this, all u get is good stuffs, i mean, who dont want extra experiences in their resume? u can say that U HAVE DONE IT!

hhaha... i hope u get what i'm saying....

let me put it this way,
i was given the chance to become a school representative for the school Bola Jaring team.I grabbed the chance, i trained for the competition, i had lots of fun and i represented the school to compete with other teams in the Pertandingan Bola Jaring MSSD. Okay, so we sucked, and we lost badly (we dont have a coach at all, the blind lead the blind!!) BUT i definitely gained experience. Hey, now i can say that I'VE DONE THIS and i have an extra sijil penghargaan!! yay!! its will look good on my extra-curriculum vitae for college ^^ this made my life in school even more greater! and to think i could have loss this all when i almost declined the offer to join the team.

still dont get it?

well, another example would be me and Rumah E, which is one of the House for Sports Day. For my past 4 years in Kwang Hua, i spent my sports day with my kadet buddies and the nearest i gone to experiencing the event is from a far (kaki bukit). i have never really been a sports person ( but i do marathons ^^ n dancing^^) and have never been involved in sports day work before. One faithful Monday morning, during the AGM for Rumah E, i was suddenly chosen to be the Vice President for Rumah E. (i was really shocked and still hav no idea y i was chosen). i grabbed this chance to be involved in this once a year thing, and during the 3 months of working my butt off for rumah E, all i can say i was, it was one of the MOST WONDERFUL MOMENTS of my life. It made form 5 life got even sweeter~sweet! It cannot be described- the fun i had as the VP of rumah E. So we didnt win, but I tried my best, and im proud to say that WE R THE CHAMPION for the PERBARISAN competition!! woohoo!!!! hehe! hey, and for the first time in my life, i actually joined a sport event - high jump. i took the chance to do it, i almost wasted this opportunity, i practiced hard, didnt win, but for an armature ( newbie/first timer), fifth place is not bad~ IM PROUD!

err..dear friends, do u see when i mean? SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY coz u have nothing to lose, i did, and i have gain A LOT from it : sweet memories, great experiences, NEW FRIENDSSSSSSSS etc etc... the only thing i lost is emm.... nothing!? but sometimes, you have to earn the chances for urself and prove that u are worth it. Don waste the chances that u can have, it will enrich ur life, and make life so sweet..~ it worked for me, and im sure it will work for u. Hey, the skies' the limit!

so, why hesitate?

Life is wonderful if u let it to be wonderful~

rollercoaster ride

i know the first few post are suppose to be all rainbows and smile and sweet cotton candy, but screw it, these has not been a few weeks, n i kinda started on a wrong (crappy) time to start a blog.

huhuhu... its the last FEW FEW days of school.. n my emotions are like a rollercoaster ride... ever since trial started, everything kinda like.. shifted. i don't know, it just feels weird, different, but everything is still the same.....i feel so confused. u know why? simply because people change.
my friends, they are very dear to me, and i love them alot, but one by one every one is going through this metamorphosis into someone that i don't know. Some changed for the better, some became someone i don't know, and some are just, different.

for the friends that changed into hardworking little bees, i salute you, and i beg you.. PLEASE SPREAD SOME OF THE HARDWORKING JUJU ON ME!! i desperately need it.

for the friends that are still floating like i am, kinda aimless n moodless n dunno what the hell they are doing, im praying for u T.T omitofat

and for the dear friends, that feels like you suddenly feel into a deep,deep narrow well and can't find the light, im here for you. i wanna help u, i so so so so so really want to help, but i just feel so helpless. congratulations, you managed to find ways to push me out when i haven't even step in, and u managed to find ways to break my heart even when u and i havent say anything. To this friend, i actually wanna thank you, because you are the only when that noticed that i feel kind of alienated and dipulaukan in class but, Wind changes. it hurts my heart to see u like that and i don't know how else i can help you. When will you see the light? when will you notice that life is actually bright? haiz... its just that i wanna help you, so will u let me help you?there is no such thing as "useless" or "too late" or stuff like that. yes, ShIT DOES HAPPENS but shit can be flushed down the freakin toilet. it all depends on what U want and how U want it to happen. u have to work for it, and a little DOES goes a long long way. the problems is, u wont even try, u wont know what will happen till u try it. Okay, so u try, and it doesnt work out, so what? at least you know you've tried ur best n u'll have nothing to be depreseed about.u have a future, and n amazing life, don waste it. u managed to get this far u will be able to go furthur. i have no idea how to motivate u,and it seems like there's no way to influence you. so i guess the only thing i can do for now is to be there for u, as a friend.. u have to know that u have friends supporting you, and caring for you, we are worried. we may not show, but we feel ur pain. i may not be able to guide you to ur future, but at least i'll be there when u make ur decision. that is, if u want me to be there.....

at the end of this rollercoaster life marathon, a beautiful ending awaits us. it is up to us to finish the marathon, to be strong n have the willpower to sweat it out. No one said it was going to be easy, and no one said it was going to be fun, everyone said that it is going to be a crappy ride, but the end results feel absolutely GREAT, and it is all worth the pain n the tears! So, dear friends, put on ur shoes, tighten ur shoelace, n hang on tight, the marathon is about to get even more wilder!!!!

be brave. "geng4 mei2 hao3 de4 zai4 qian2 tu2 deng2 ni3"...

virgin no more

welcome to my blog!!! a world of my own where i can crap abt all the stuff tht is happening no matter good or bad.... this feels kinda weird coz im not that person who talks abt stuffs that are bothering her. but, if i don start this blog, i think i will go crazy one day. hey, plus its a great way to improve my english skills.... i think !?
its time for the virgin to step out, n start her first blog, hence, blog virgin no more i am!! yay!!

if u were wondering, why "the eternal optimist" i'll tell you why..
this is such a precious name given to me, by a dear friend who has gone to meet the angels, it just summarizes me so perfectly - the eternal optimist. i don't know why, but i am always just oh so "half-glass full".. im just always happy ^^ and things no matter how bad, always seems to be GREAT! im just so happy to be blessed
with this happy genes!! but, even optimists have insects that bug them~ its bcoz im human

so, a short intro to my blog, keep tuning in to for more poems (yes i write poems n i finally have a place to post!! yay~), more stories, more photo's(noob photographer, i have some wonderful photos in my album @ go take a look!), n of course, more insight on the wonderful colours of my beautiful life~ ^^

ahh... i feel better alreay ^^
see u soon!