Friday, October 30, 2009

the tabs are open

you know life is sad when every time someone asks "what you up to", your answers is always "assignments".

whats sadder is you spent so much time on the computer with your assignment documents opened, but 5 hours later you achieve, basically nothing.

how pathetically lifeless.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

jailbreak on impulse

what do you do when you are so sick and tired of worrying about all the worries in the world? You go on an impulsive trip, somewhere to get away and hear youself think..

Julian kidnapped me for sudden road trip to Bagan Lalang, this sweet little beach reminiscence of Port Dickson... Just what i needed, just what i craved, smell of the beach, the magical golden sunset, a place just away, away.

I had so much fun enjoying the sunset, taking about love, life, gay rights and everything in between!

t'was a very relaxing evening, a very much needed sweet escape! Bagan Lalang is perfect, not too crowded, not too dirty, not too far, not too near. An escape not too far away, i think im in love (WITH THE BEACH ok u ppl)<3

Impulsive trips is what we need more in life! Spontaneity!

because routines are for losers :P

so, where next?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

human limitations at the 40th hour

40.5 hours and no sleep at all.
havent felt like this in a while, the out of body feeling coz due sheer tiredness.
I spaced out so much when i was driving home I scared myself silly. one second im concentrating on the road, another im like dreaming, and then i become aware of my suroundings again and went like "eh. got car besidesm;

i just spaced out again.

human limitations. now i know why sleep is so important.

sweet dreams.

I'd like some Google with my fries please.

Have you ever been so haunted by an assignment that all you eat sleep and talk about is work? That was my mind's infestation for the past week. It got so bad to a point where i literally and truly went to bed thinking about my report points, i dreamt about 1Malaysia(that was my research topic), and i woke up thinking about the analysis. screw the effing wordcount.

this has been one hell of a tireing assignment. I actually started my research early but it ended up a last minute completion, again.

not my fault we have 3 huge assignments due consequtively.

The guys and I have successfully spent almost 24 consequetive hours working on our report. That means no sleep, not since 6.30 am yesterday morning. its now 9.45am. Im way past the sleepy stage now im just awake, the others are lifelessly sleeping. I am so glad we stayed over Izz's place to finish the report together, if i were at home, alone in the dark with the weird noises, I will be stressing out so much and feeling so goddamn tired that i would just freakin elotrocute myself. Stressing out with friends is always so much better, you get distracted just enough to forget about stressing. T'was a tireing assignment night but i had SO much fun! There is always one half of the table that motivates you to work, another half that helps u relax, and heaps of encouragement and help. Extra fun when you have real life cartoons and random coversations entertaining you! I call it the Amy and Aaron show!

Suddenly it was 3.30am, after hours of Amy's endless McD nag, we were finally hungry enough, and tired enough of being cooped up that we packed our laptops, and shifted our fun to McD's! emmmhmmm nothing goes well with 4am assignment rushes than a good Sausage McMuffin. Even if the cheese looks like plastic and the egg like rubber.

Mika's Lollipop song makes a really good de-stresser on the way back to Izz's.

We were almost finally done by then. the work continues till 8.30am, we handed in the online submission. Deadline was at 9.00.

IT was a long day but i had loads of fun. Another long day today- video shooting and editing due tomorrow.

I swear procrastination will be the fall of mankind one day.

It's pissing me off man! especially when your laptop is so fuckin dumb it automatically restarts consequtively after the start up. startup-restart-startup-restart it goes in loops i dont even get the chance to click on anything before it restart again. Damn frustrated at that stupid tiny 3rd hand Vaio that i wanted to just chuck it out of Izu's balcony. Maybe a 20 story drop will teach hima lesson stupid laptop. Thank god we had so many laptops aruond that there was always one unoccupied laptop for me to take over. I think i switched between 5 laptops. Thanks guys!

and thanks Izu for letting us trash your house, again!

Imma go origami my report notes into little airplanes and throw them off the 20th floor now!!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I left my stripper heels at home

Pole dancing is freaking hard!! to defy gravity like that, and spin around like that. you count your life on your body's friction against the thin, steel cold pole. sweaty palms don't help, neither do lack of sleep or empty stomach.

had my first taste of pole dancing today, 3 hours later i felt like jelly. The instructor, she made it look too easy! i wouldn't say its painful, only the friction and rubbing against the pole hurts a little. I didnt expect bruises. but 2 hours later my thighs are now happily dotted with blues and blacks :) looks like some really cool looking infestation!

the pioneers of pole dancing are just unbelievable. Some people might shun pole dancing cause its slutty and the unforgettable link of strippers is there. It may have started out that way but them stripper heels now bring forth a whole new agenda.

be wowed by this! the unbelievable ladies of 2009 US Pole Dancing Championship.

I melt at their gracefulness and toughness at the same time, the upper body strength, the abs strength, the falling and climbing and spinning, the creativity, the choreography the flexibility, THE AWESOMENESS!! XD

I think pole dancing is absolutely beautiful. Beautiful in a way that proves to all the male chauvinists out there that every women can be strong, independent, with grace, beauty and a lil' bit of womanly sexiness at the same time! Pole dancing proves that all the ladies out there are intelligent beings and we do not need you to survive! Equality, man! i get insulted when guys say we cant do this or suck at that just cause we are girls and we have tiny brains. Well boo you. Every women should learn pole danicng and be empowered. Pole dancing is Empowerment that's what it is! One word to sum it all off: Girl power! To all you who have been stereotyping girls and making fun and looking down on us because we get period and you dont, well look at the video again, and be proved wrong. One thing i love about Pole dancing is it shows that women can do anything men can: politics, wrestling, basketball and well i question if a men can do anything women can. I would LOVE to see a guy pole dance like that one day.

stop with the female stereotype. feminism!

yes, that was the feminist in me talking. to all those that look down upon women, kiss my stripper pole.

"Pole dancing is like Oprah, empowering female everywhere."

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

stranger danger or stranger friend?

A very friendly Pakistani guy, Hassan, i think, striked up a rather friendly conversation today while I was waiting at the train station for my dad. The day before, a London-born Nigerian guy, Yomi, at the train station in college. It was quite interesting to have a conversation with a stranger, I didnt mind at all. Yomi and Hassan made the same comment halfway through the conversation :: I'm very friendly and approachable compared to the other Malaysians.

What they meant was unlike other girls and guys around here, I was probably the only one that actually answered their questions and had a real conversation with them. We talked about where they're from, the local food, the local people etc. Yomi said they discussed this in class, he didnt understand that it's our culture to be so cold to strangers. I think this is so true, especially when they are middle eastern or black. A very racist stereoype yeah. Unfortunately, there's this Malaysian mentality that makes us a very uncaring society. For one, we think that middle easterns, africans, foreigner on the street, espcially those near you are 1) out for your money or 2) out for your body. So when one comes by, you might hold your bag just a little closer to you or maybe walk further from them just as a precaution. But we dont think that way to white foreingers, do we?

Besides that, Malaysians has this stranger danger mentality. Im not talking about the casual passerby asking for directions and the time. When an uncle walking beside you suddenly smiles and say "HI, How Are You". What do we usually do? Initial response in the head : OMG STRANGER CREEPY STRANGER DANGEROUS! and then we just smile and nodd. no reply. how very, unfriendly of us. The man is just trying to be friendly but all he got was an akward blow-off. its true its really true! If some random guy just says "how are you" to you for no good reason we think that of all the bad possibilities and not just because they are friendly. do an experiment, go on the streets one day and start saying friendly "hi's" to people and see the response you get. its sad, really.

Ok so im not saying im better then the rest and i dont have the same mentality. My initial thoughts would be the same: stranger creep danger run. But i guess studying in Sunway College and my US stint really taught me ALOT about people. Sunway really shocked me with the amount of middle eastern students we had. I've met so many all the iranians, yemenis, africans are some of the nicest people and bestest friends ever! I've really learned ALOT about them and their culture and their country, and i guessed that helped me break the stereotype i had about them. Nice people, really. They have high visions and really smart too!

and US, ahh US. how i missed (really raelly really really miss) (really really) (really) the sweet unexpecting "How are You's" from random strangers. I get them almost everyday. you walk to work and you can have just the most satisfying conversation with the man walking next to you. thats how i got number 17 on my 100-things-to-do-before-i-die-list. Casey, a guy i met at the busstop inspired me. He saw my lonely planet book and we talked about his wonderful road trips and travels. Its amazing how much we can learn from a stranger. but not many of us know that, cause all of us are always busy with our phones, ipods, and ourselves to notice the person next to us.

how unfriendly of a society we live in. sad. i cant say the entire US was friendly, but Vail and the other places i went to certainly was. She really helped me to be a more friendly person, and be more open to strangers. Thats why i didnt mind talking to Hassan and Yomi even though i saw red caution all over my mind. So what im saying is, its okay to talk to strangers, strike up a conversation with one or entertain a conversation posed at you. Enjoy the talk and maybe learn something new. Be friendly, but always be careful. Don't go giving away your personal information or set up for a date alone or something. Hassan and Yomi were great to talk to but they'll just be strangers i met at the train stop. i didnt give Yomi my number don't worry.

the moral of the story? study at Sunway College and go to US. :P

break down the Malaysian Mentality.
from this moment, i am going to be friendlier to random strangers. Maybe even a "How are you" or two. won't you join me? :)

We can start making our society a friendlier, and more loving, caring one to live in! *semangats!*

disclaimer: dear international and local friends, none of these should be taken into offense, and no offense is intentioned here. I do not mean to generalize EVERY malaysian, just a view of the majority. I'm just voicing out what i think is important. I want to know what you think about this too, leave your thoughts here will ya!? :D

Thursday, October 8, 2009

so this is how sucky feels like



i suck at the only thing im good at.


frustrated at my loser self.

this is the only thing that can make me feel this way.
the only thing im not confident at.

and im a confident girl.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

stuck up.

more like misunderstood.

i admit i have the stuck up look, face problem ma. what to do. eyes scary like that. looks super fierce when im not smiling.

but i dont bite, really!

in fact. i think im pretty friendly! (ok la perasaan abit)

but for me some people i just cant talk to until they talk to me. then everytime i see them i wanna talk to them, but just very hard la. it takes time for me to break their shell, or mine.

then, they think i stuck up.

it used to bother me but i've heard it so much in CIMP i accepted it already. oh wells, u cant please everyone. :)

at least u guys know the real me! i hope.