i am tired.
it is tireing to be tired.

the problem with me is i live on stress. the little adrenalin rush through my head the juggling act, that balancing pole, the plate spinning, the acrobatic stunts, i live on being busy. it somehow makes me feel alive, and useful, and makes me feel like im doing something worthwhile.

I've tried free and easy for one semester. Though it was fun, and relaxing, and i got to go watch movie every week and karaoke every 2 weeks, and i got to spend loads of time with my friends, it made me lazy. very lazy. and when i got to working again at the end of the year, the red hot blood in me pumped though my veins again and i become unnessasarily ambitious, wanting to achieve everything, again.

it has always been like that, it used to be me, and 3 other co-curicullar activities, and dancing. now its me, and 2 other side jobs, and dancing.

its risky, its tireing, its a rollercoaster ride, but hey, im a juggler. I've been juggling all my life.
the key is to prioritize and not lose focus on the main prize.

now i just hope that i can survive this semester as a whole.