maximum overload

my brain can just explode, in fact i think it is going to, soon.

between ISUs and student council and my dances, my brain is already churnning enough.

its already october and i have no idea where i want to go to for uni... but its not much of a matter of where i want to go but where i can go.
which brings me to the next hovering problem i havent found a scholarship yet.
something my brother cant stop reminding me. like its not already eating me inside.

i hate processes. the process of finding a uni the process of applying for a scholarship the process of getting a visa to go to US... school work is already taking up most of my time i dotn even know what my future looks like and it doesnt help that my other brother is pushing me to apply for a US visa fast. and no we cant go through a middle man if we can help it because it costs too much. ohh the best part, getting a visa is not easy = lots of work, lots lots of work and research. dont get me wrong its not that i dont want to go and work and travel and see the world and meet my macho-macho-hebat brother and finally go to disneyland but........................


i hate being "independent"

but it will all pay off.
i hope.